“Despite vague ill-placed semantics, I officially tenured my resignation two Thursdays ago.”
I’ll let my introduction sink in for any one reading this for the first time or internet-crossing eavesdropper.
I don’t think my actions were neither spasmodic, nor comparable to a knee-jerk from a napping commuter on a crowded train. My thoughts, those that led me to take a greater stake at what I was doing with my career–the core values behind what I want to do–have been building for some time. In a nutshell, my heart didn’t want to accept what my brain was trying to convince it to listen to.
My self-validation alarm, that notification that warns you that that thing you once enjoyed, which was once a brilliant star in your night sky, has now turned into something muffled out by externalities beyond your control.
Is it blasphemous to speak in examination of a former employer or lover?
I find it a coward’s stance, a brigand’s scuttle, to mock and dissect the actions and failed promises of a lover publicly. But to admonish a former employer’s missteps, to underline failed attempts at repairing wounds, is justified so as long as there is sound evidence. I don’t dole out criticism without utmost, if not indelible forthright (being motivated by malice only proves to assassinates one’s own character).
But wisdom with have, with all things considered, it best I not get into particulars regarding my current space as oppose to my former residency. Less is more. And in this case, I’m looking forward to much more than the pocket crumbs of before.
My friends are aware of what went on, they having held audience at one time or another to my retellings about conversations, judgments, etc.
I take with me a shilling of wisdom from my past, and gratitude( ah yes, much gratitude), but nonetheless wisdom. I usher forward into a new venue knowing that I did not trample on the foot of passer-bys or contemporaries to get to where I am. I didn’t make waves of enclosed discontent or shoulder aside creative opinions. I sleep at night, and rise in the morning knowing I can laugh and shake my head( sometimes at the same time) that I’m current and anew; and not homogeneous and ignored.
I can look myself squarely in the mirror, devoid of faux-philosophies or shredded friendships, and know that I came into my present the same way I did my past: with me in mind.